Okay, while we are talking about child related topics let me just jump onto a new little hobby horse of mine. Thank you to everyone who comes up to me and comments on my “lovely family.” I agree. My guys are pretty awesome. You can stop there. The next question that usually follows is, “When are you going to start trying for a little girl?” And I don’t want to hear that. It just makes my head hurt.
First of all, that question implies that somehow our family is incomplete because we haven’t given birth to a girl. Or that our ridiculous reproductive organs are somehow defective because they only make boy babies.
Second of all, do you really want me to answer that question? Really? I have decided— just for kicks – the next time that little jab is sent my way I’m going to respond with the following statement. “Well, I’m in the mood for some really rocking sex right now. Excuse me and my husband. Since you seem to think it’s so necessary for us to have a baby girl we’ll be in that closet right over there trying our best to make one.”
I know, in my lifetime, I’ve probably made some comments about family dynamics to someone. And I want to go on the record right now with an apology. If you’ve ever heard any such nonsense uttered from my mouth I am so sorry. Some wisdom does come with age. Thank goodness.
The point of how offensive we can be when making statements on these kinds of issues was driven home to me not so very long ago when I sat in a room and listened as someone talked about a couple who was mourning the loss of their unborn child. This couple already had several children, and I guess the person speaking felt their family was complete as it was, because she said, “I think God is trying to tell them something. Leave well enough alone.”
And I literally felt those words all the way to my soul. They took my breath. She was implying that God—who is the Giver of Life and loves children—was sitting up in heaven saying, “Your family is big enough, idiot! Since you can’t seem to figure that out on your own I’m going to kill the child you are carrying.”
Where exactly is this official handbook that describes what the perfect family looks like? I mean, it must exist. We all are quoting passages from it every chance we can get. Well, we were. Not me. Not anymore.
Here’s my new official policy on this matter. When you announce you are pregnant I am going to celebrate like crazy with you. When you announce it’s a boy…or a girl…I’m going to celebrate like crazy with you. When you decide you are done having kids you don’t have to announce it…since it’s not really my business. I’m just the girl standing on the sidelines celebrating life and all the different shapes, sizes, and genders that make up the beauty of family.